I understand the 2004 United Methodist General Conference was quite contentious, with a near-schism. I was mostly interested in it getting over, so Bishop Ken Carder could come back and I could know where I’d be working in June. I had served a very small church in southwest Hinds County and an even smaller one at Rocky Springs. The building dated from before the Civil War and had been a military hospital during the Vicksburg Campaign. I also was (and am) an Elder and so eligible for a local church appointment. The thing is, the appointments had already been announced. What would be “left” for me? What came open was a church in the Mid-Delta, in the “Catfish Capital of the World.” The church became open because my predecessor’s predecessor had been openly interfering with the ministry of another pastor over the year. He would continue to interfere with MY ministry during my year there. Interfering With The Ministry of Another Pastor was a Chargeable Offense in 2004 (and still is). If any pastor in the Mississippi Conference has actually been charged with this, I don’t know about it. The reason is NOT lack of offenses.

Even without the interference of a previous pastor, my ministry in “The Catfish Capital” had some significant barriers. Like the whole Delta, the “Catfish Capital” had two education systems, one private for White children and one (underfunded) public for Black children, It offends my deep seated values to commit my children to a segregated private school system. The existence of private schools in Mississippi has been the single greatest reason for Mississippi’s decline over the last 50 years. That would have made my moving to that town with my children very problematic. Beyond that, of course, was Luke’s education. We had finally seen some “fruit” of our advocacy for him in a successful fourth grade year. Luke was entitled to a “Free, Appropriate Public Education.” He was finally getting it. We would need for our house in Clinton to be our “home base.” We sometimes all four “stayed” and the parsonage in the Delta. We never “lived” there.

I also encountered the “Culture Wars” up close. The Massachusetts Supreme Court had legalized same sex weddings in that Commonwealth in 2004. Panicked homophobes rushed ballot initiatives AGAINST Same Sex Marriage in several states. Mississippi was among those considering a ban on Same Sex Marriage. This initiative was backed by Donald Wildmon’s American Family Association. Wildmon had been the single most malignant force in Mississippi United Methodism for 30 years. He was inside the tent, pissing inside the tent. A member of one of the core families wanted the church newsletter to have an endorsement of Wildmon’s efforts. I just wasn’t going to do that. This member called and berated me. He asked “What DO you believe about gay marriage?” Well, there were two answers to that. 1. I was forbidden to conduct one. 2. I was enthusiastically in favor. I gave only the first answer to him, of course.

We had a meeting with my District Superintendent in January 2005. He said “We know this is a situation not of your making.” He assured us that the upcoming appointment season would do right by us. He also told us that newly assigned Bishop Hope Morgan Ward was looking to let overlooked clergywomen get promotions. Lynette was definitely among the overlooked. I let the Delta church know we’d be seeking a new appointment. I, accurately, said I was putting family first. Ultimately, Lynette was appointed to a suburban church in the Pine Belt that had never had a woman pastor. However, the day before appointments were made the retiring pastor of that brought in the result of a called Charge Conference to significantly reduce the incoming Senior Pastor. This church would not be nearly the promotion we were told. Further, MY appointment represented more than a $10,000 DECREASE in salary. As a family, we would be measurably worse off with the move. If they WEREN’T trying say our situation was our fault, I don’t know what they’d do if they WERE.

We protested in letters to Bishop Ward. Nothing changed, so we were off to figure out how we’d survive; In addition to my making FAR less money, I soon discovered that one of my churches was a “clergy killer.” I had difficulty even GETTING my salary from them. Over the previous 70 years, two “outliers” pastors had managed to stay three years. Most pastoral tenures had been one to two years. If I had not known this, the District Superintendent surely had. I came to perceive that the Conference leadership viewed me as disposable. I still had 20 years to retirement, but the Conference had given up on me.

The local school district was one of the top rated in the state. In fact, the opportunity to live in this school district was supposed to “compensate” for the reduction in income. We found out that it was one thing to advocate for Luke in a school district where we were homeowners and both worked out of town. It was quite another to do so as parsonage residents in a district where the high school principal was also a member of Lynette’s church. Luke’s “problematic behaviors were totally the result of his ASD, they required creative responses that this “top rated” school district didn’t want to make. There was one Sunday when the principle glared at Lynette with an unmistakable “STOP!”

My appointment was already a train wreck. A meeting with my District Superintendent and another had made it clear that they were going to blame this crash on “Engineer Error.” Now, Lynette was unexpectedly asked NOT to return. Bishop Ward made it clear that Lynette was NOT to be blamed for this crash. I was told I had to ask for “Voluntary” Leave of Absence to facilitate a new appointment for Lynette. Lynette’s was the only clergy couple marriage from our era to survive to the death of a partner. I’m sure the Conference Leadership have NO idea why this was so.

Lynette was actually promoted in her next appointment. We lived in a highly rated Jackson suburban school district. Luke was placed under the care of Kay Fortenberry, the wife of Millsaps Chaplain Don Fortenberry. Don had conducted Lynette’s and my wedding 25 years earlier. Kay’s program over two years mostly erased the damage to Luke’s education inflicted by “Top Rated Pine Belt School District.”

I was faced with the fact that, little as I was making, it was more than “Nothing.” We had a very rough few first months. I eventually was hired as a Chaplain by a for-profit hospice organization. The pay was not great, but more than “nothing,” The work itself was invigorating. It was great to be able to help the patients and families. I enjoyed the camaraderie of fellow chaplains and the clinical atmosphere in general. It was nice to feel “competent” again. The fellow chaplain with whom I grew especially close was a “Married” Lesbian ordained in a “non-denominational” church. Somehow, on our first day riding together, Julie was comfortable introducing me to her “partner.” How did she know I wouldn’t immediately shun her? I know the bad reputation male clergy have to LGBTQ folks. Somehow, Julie knew I wasn’t THAT kind of pastor. That means I have integrity in how I feel and present. Had I or a family needed a hospice chaplain, Julie would be my first call. In this job, moreover, I was EXPECTED to be in ministry to LGBTQ persons, if they were our patients. Further, I was EXPECTED to be in ministry with Black patients and family and to be “vile” enough to go into inner-city Jackson neighborhoods. It’s fantastic when your employer EXPECTS you to do what you want to do.

Unfortunately, that season would prove short. The Hospice Organization was found to have received Medicare funds they shouldn’t have. This was a result of certifying patients as eligible for hospice when they weren’t. I had absolutely no hand in those corporate decisions, but “stuff” rolls downhill. Patient census was steadily reduced, and the one chaplain per 50 patients ratio was edging down to the point that only two, not three, chaplains would be needed in our office. I was the “last in,” so I was “first out.” I was laid off in April 2009, five years after my layoff at Central Mississippi Medical Center. It’s difficult to explain to someone who has never been laid off how devastating it it. It’s not anywhere close to “only” the loss of income. You lose a place to go in the morning. You lose a significant part of your identity. “I’m unemployed” breaks one of John Wesley’s Rules that I agreed to at my ordination.

In this case, my District Superintendent found me a small church to which I could drive from the parsonage. Lynette’s appointment would continue to be primary, while I trailed along. This was the “bargain” negotiated between two mismatched parties, one with almost all the power. It was fortunate that Lynette’s and my marriage wasn’t harmed by my ego.

I stayed at that small church for five years. Lynette moved once, within the same school district. Sarah stayed in that district from 6th through 10th grade, when she left for the residential Mississippi School of the Arts. Luke was in that district from eighth grade to high school graduation. Luke had more trouble with bullying in high school than he told us about. He had thoughts of self-harm that he never told us about. He said “I wouldn’t have had the guts to do it.” I like to think that he knew how desperately he was loved by his mother, me and, occasionally, his sister. The people picking on him were nowhere near as important as the ones in his corner. I;m glad to have him as my 30 year old housemate.

We made the decision at the beginning of Luke’s high school that he’d pursue a “Mississippi Occupational Diploma.” He’d still be in regular high school classes, that he had to pass. He would take the State Tests in English, Biology, US History, and Algebra, but he didn’t have to pass them. He would, they said, still be able to go to Community College with this diploma. We committed to it.

The 2009 session of the Mississippi Conference would be the first when I was back, again, under pastoral appointment. The session was the first of the second quadrennium when Hope Morgan Ward was our Bishop. The theme of the Conference was “doors.” In the opening worship, several people gave testimony of “Open Doors” in their church. One of the testifiers was a Millsaps math professor and her “partner.” Though their church had not hosted their Ceremony of Union nor had their pastor presided, they had had the ceremony in the church parking lot, with witnesses and support from the congregation. It was a powerful story, with nary a Book of Discipline rule broken. Rudy Rasmus, the guest preacher said “Y’all’s Bishop is gangsta.” Sarah was in the congregation cheering. She noted a large number of people with their arms crossed, scowls on their faces. I also knew “it” was about to hit the fan.

No amount of money, prestige, or title could compensate for the abuse directed at Hope Morgan Ward after this worship. “Open Letters,” petitions and every sort of thing were directed at her to get her to “apologize” or even step down as Bishop. The truth is, she had nothing to apologize FOR. There certainly were churches that withheld Mission Share payments, with the encouragement of their pastors. Encouraging your church to withhold Mission Shares is ALSO a Chargeable Offense. Curiously, this one was never punished, joining Interfering With the Ministry of Another Pastor as “No Complaint, No Penalty” offenses in the Mississippi Conference.

Agitation against Hope Morgan Ward didn’t really diminish in her 2009-12 tenure, but it seemed manageable. In 2011, a well organized effort by “Vaguely Progressive” United Methodist an almost all “Vaguely Progressive” General and Jurisdictional Conference delegation. We beat back MOST of the divisive “Culture War” amendments too. 2011 was the high water mark of “moderate” United Methodism in Mississippi. In 2012 Bishop Ward completed her two quadrennia in Mississippi and was reassigned to North Carolina. James Swanson was assigned as Mississippi’s Bishop in 2012. At one level, this looked “progressive” too. Bishop Swanson would be the first Black Bishop in Mississippi. On the other hand, Bishop Swanson was a smooth political operator with an unerring ability to think he agrees with whoever is in power. If the “swing” power in the Southeastern Jurisdiction was homophobic, then Swanson would be too. Swanson’s assignment was an attempt to appease the hard right in Mississippi who had grown apoplectic about Bishop Ward.

Swanson soon became an agent of the hard right in Mississippi. Conservative pastors were promoted regularly. The Conference became quite close to a “Police State,” as people with even moderate views on LGBTQ inclusion were told to keep our mouths shut. The 2015 General and Jurisdictional Conference elections were quite different from 2011. The hard right conservatives met ahead of time and decided who would be “slated” and in what order they’d be elected. This was put on laminated cards handed out to the voters. No one bothered to give me or Lynette one. We were “lost causes.” The people on the cards were elected in the order their names appeared on the cards. Bishop Swanson allowed this. It was just one of many gifts he’d give to the hard right.

In 2017 he allowed two north Mississippi churches to steal their property from the Conference for pennies on the dollar. I was told not to use the word “steal,” though no alternative word described what happened. In 2018 he allowed three more churches to steal their property from the Conference. Again, no alternative word to “steal” accurately describes what happened.