jaltman81

Some more memories of Fall 2016: Lynette became a part of a “Dream Group” in 2007, a group of women who processed their dreams under a Jungian rubric. This became her primary “outside of church and family” community. They met monthly and had occasional retreats. Lynette continued to attend the monthly meetings of the Dream Group throughout our time on the Gulf Coast. Her cancer diagnosis and treatments did not change that one bit. She continued driving to Jackson once a month. That group was not MY group, of course, but I did what I could to make sure she made the meetings. The women of that group became her “Army of Ladies,” who stepped up to help us out during the crisis of her final hospitalization. The story of that crisis is for near the end of this saga, but I want to give a shout-out to that “Army of Ladies” now. Lynette was a “fierce friend,” who also MADE “fierce friends.”

Thursday, August 25, 2016 was Lynette’s first day of chemotherapy. I found out much later that the particular TYPE of breast cancer Lynette had was HER2 Positive Inflammatory Breast Cancer. The MAIN chemo drug she was to be on was Herceptin (Never saw it written out, but I can’t imagine any other way to spell it). In the taxonomy of breast cancers, I’m told that’s a bad kind, but not as bad as HER2 Negative.

The night before she was to begin, I filled prescriptions for steroids and for anti-nausea medication..Herceptin can engender allergic reactions, which the steroids were supposed to address. We (I) did well remembering to administer them at the right times.

Lynette was, at this time, still just a few days post-two surgeries. She had a Home Health nurse from Camellia Home Health who was coming regularly for wound care and dressing changes. I wish I could remember her name, but she was a great blessing in a hard time.

The first day of chemotherapy turned out to be VERY long. All the chemo patients for Memorial received treatment in one big infusion room. For the sake of patient privacy, only patients and Memorial clinical staff were allowed in the infusion room. That put me (and others attending to Lynette) in the waiting room. Pat Kornegay and Gina Burrus from Mississippi City and Elizabeth Galloway from St. Paul “spelled” me during parts of the day. I needed to take Luke to the day center he attended and pick him up.

At this point we had not yet told Luke his mother had cancer. HE can often be remarkably UN curious about what’s going on around him. We still were not sure what his response would be. By the time it was time for me to leave to pick him up, Lynette was not finished with her chemo. When I picked him up, he asked where his Mama was. I said “She still needs some more medicine.” “What KIND of medicine?” Is it chemotherapy? Now, I may withhold information sometimes, but I never directly lie to my child. Yes. “Does Mama have cancer?” He’s sometimes incurious, but he’s not stupid. Yes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” We weren’t sure how you’d respond. Of course, that meant the FIRST thing Lynette would face when she got home was a disappointed son. The thing is, she always knew how to talk to him and let him know how much she loved him. He confronted her, but they were friends again almost immediately.

The Herceptin protocol was infusion every three weeks, with a lab and office visit with Dr. Hightower one week after infusion. This would go on for six treatments-meaning the rest of the summer, fall, and early winter. I’ll address how Lynette coped, how the rest of us coped, and what happened during that time soon. (Possibly longer from now than tomorrow.).

August 21, 2016-On this day two years ago, Dr. Olivia Hightower came into our lives. She was the Medical Oncologist the surgeon had said he would be consulting. The biopsy taken the previous day would still have to be examined by a pathologist, not really to determine IF it was cancer, but what specific TYPE. Imaging scans also needed to be scheduled. The surgeon was prepared to insert a chemo port the following day.

Dr. Hightower said “This is a very aggressive cancer, but this type often responds to aggressive treatment.” It would take me sixteen months and the repetition of the sentence “This is a very aggressive cancer” by SEVERAL doctors before I understood what they were saying.

Another immediate crisis was that Fall Semester classes at Millsaps College were to begin on Monday, August 22. Sarah needed to leave for Jackson that Sunday afternoon. “Mixed emotions” barely begins to describe how Sarah was responding. She did finally pack up her car and drive north. We found out later that she had diverted to Brookhaven, where her then-boyfriend lived and made it only that far that night. The campus ministry situation was in flux that year because the College Chaplain had left in July and a new one had not been named. I contacted Paige Swaim-Presley and Emily Sanford to ask them to watch out for Sarah. They agreed.

Lynette’s chemo port was placed on Monday, August 22. Dr. Hightower would be ready for her to begin chemotherapy on Thursday, August 25. During the procedure to insert the chomo port, my phone rang. It was the repair shop, giving me an estimate on the transmission on the Altima. How things had changed in just three days!

I told the owner about Lynette’s cancer diagnosis. He was understanding and said he would be patient about my getting back with him. The transmission ultimately was replaced in July 2017,

We gave Sarah the option of withdrawing from Millsaps for the Fall Semester. She decided she would stay. Her friends and support system were at Millsaps. We later found out she took 23 semester hours that fall. She earned her usual 4.0 Grade Point Average.

Tomorrow, I will talk about the beginning of chemotherapy and how Luke found out his mother had cancer.

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We arrived at the ER at Memorial Hospital in the late afternoon. I don’t recall that there was much delay in getting Lynette back to a room. The nurse who took us in was quite insightful. She pronounced Lynette “Super Sweet.” At some fairly early point, both the nurse and the ER doctor saw Lynette’s abscess. I saw it too. It was fairly gruesome looking. I knew how much stress Lynette had been under at St. Paul-Staff tensions, tensions between the Downtown and East Campuses, financial challenges, trustee-related challenges, etc. I thought an infection had gotten out of control, due to stress and Lynette’s well known habit of putting EVERYONE and EVERYTHING ahead of herself.

The ER doc said he would need a surgeon to look at the abscess. He admitted her for overnight. I called Sarah to bring herself and Luke up to the hospital. We figured out something to do for supper, though I can’t remember what. I don’t do well sleeping on hospital guest couches. Sarah agreed to spend the night with her Mama and I took Luke home. We knew the consult for the surgeon was in. Lynette was to be NPO after midnight, so that surgery could be done the following morning, which seemed necessary.

The next day was the second worst of 2016.

on Altman

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Two years ago today, my concern was getting our 2011 Nissan Altima from Pat Peck Nissan in Gulfport to a repair shop. The transmission was out. If you’ve ever had to replace a transmission, you know you might just contemplate buying another car. The repair shop had quoted me a price on a rebuilt transmission that was significantly less than the price Pat Peck had quoted me on a new one. I had gotten the car (by AAA towing service) to the repair shop, left my number with the owner, came home to talk with Lynette about what we might do the rest of the afternoon. She told me that she had had an abscess on her left breast for several days that was getting worse. She thought we should go to the Memorial Walk-In Clinic near our house to get it checked. We did that. She showed the abscess to the nurse practitioner on duty (but not to me). The practitioner said we should go to the Memorial ER. We did. A journey no one wants to take was beginning.